reflection.

well, i’ve finally had some time to rest and relax. it’s been weird transitioning back to a house with normal-sized people in it and everything, but it’s been so nice to sleep in and have some time to myself and have normal conversations and stuff.

i’m really, really missing being around kids though. it’s kind of tougher than i though it’d be at this point. but it’s only monday.

it’s so weird, looking back on the beginning of summer, not knowing just what i was getting myself into. there’s so much to tell, and while i feel i did an okay job throughout the summer keeping all of you posted, there’s just a ton that goes into it, all details, that never make it onto an entry. many times i didn’t even notice the details because i was so used to them. since i’ve left, i’m finding i’m missing a lot of small, insignificant things that went along with camp.

there’s so much in my mind right now, so i think i’ll just break everything up into categories.

[stuff i miss]
i’m missing, like i said, just being around kids. i miss seeing them run around and just asking them how their day is going, even if i don’t know them. i miss the counselors that i made friends with. i miss talking about camp stuff with people, stuff that doesn’t really relate to the real world. i miss chapel and singing songs. i miss looking over and seeing one or two of the boys really getting into the music and clapping their hands. i miss seeing all the brazilians–gus, freddie, lan, ray-ray, bel. i miss waking my kids up in the morning and then making loud noises in their ear when they refuse to get up. i miss the way everyone was totally okay with being crazy. i miss the night walk from lake to river village. i miss those moments when you can tell that your kids just really like being around you. there’s a lot more that i miss, but i’m actually beginning to feel kind of whiny. it’s not at all that i don’t like being home or the idea of going back to school… i’m so ready to be back at ball state, and i’m loving my time here at home. i think i just haven’t made the full transition yet. i don’t know if that makes sense.

[stuff i don’t miss]
definitely don’t miss the spotty internet or lack of cell reception. i don’t miss having to tell kids to do something ten times in a row (sort of…), and i don’t miss disrespectful kids. i would say i don’t miss being sick, but i’m still sick. i won’t miss it when it’s gone though! i don’t miss having only twenty-four hours of time off in between weeks. i don’t miss not having a car.

[stuff God has taught me]
this one could go on forever. God’s been so faithful this summer. i’ve learned that when i ask to grow closer to God, He listens. that God’s will is better than mine. that it’s painful sometimes to realize this. God uses people to bless you. first judgements are hardly ever right. growing closer to God doesn’t strictly depend on how much time you spend in the bible. the old testament has some really awesome stories that really apply to our lives here and now. that trusting God means trusting Him with everything… otherwise it’s not trust. sin can be overcome, in the name of Jesus. there is never any reason to hide from or avoid God. young kids can still “get it.” sometimes people don’t respond to your love, and that’s okay. acting like Christ really has an impact on people. you can mean the world to someone and not even know it. and i’m still learning things each day that relate back to camp.

tomorrow i’ll post pictures.

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2 thoughts on “reflection.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Brad, you aren’t being whiny. You’re just remembering. And it’s okay to remember. Now if you still told me NOW about all of this, that would be a little much. But it’s okay to remember. And it’s okay to love what you had. I have no doubt that I will hearing all about next summer’s camp this time next year from you.
    sometimes people don’t respond to your love, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
    ohhhh mannnn i’m excited for pictures! i feel like my comments are becoming less poetic and substantial. i gotta get on my game!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Brad, you aren’t being whiny. You’re just remembering. And it’s okay to remember. Now if you still told me NOW about all of this, that would be a little much. But it’s okay to remember. And it’s okay to love what you had. I have no doubt that I will hearing all about next summer’s camp this time next year from you.

    sometimes people don’t respond to your love, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you.

    ohhhh mannnn i’m excited for pictures! i feel like my comments are becoming less poetic and substantial. i gotta get on my game!

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