love.

i’m home.

it’s so weird to say that. it doesn’t seem real; like i’m only hanging out for a week before going back to school. which, i suppose, in the long run i am. but fourteen weeks feels like an eternity right now. i’m still processing it all, still living in the limbo that exists between school and home. i’m home, but my mind is still making the journey, i think. no doubt it’ll arrive soon.

there’s so much going on in my mind right now. not stressful stuff, just a lot that i want to write down. i’m not sure yet how i want to do it. i guess i could just write without planning. sometimes that works well. i could go chronologically. that would probably make the most sense.

yeah.

packing took a lot longer than i thought it would. i went with tanner to get boxes from lowe’s (they were selling moving boxes. selling them.) and brought them back, dropping a few off for becca. corey moved out thursday, so i got the room to myself, which was good, because i needed it. if corey and i had been moving out at the same time, it would have been complete chaos. definitely would not have worked out well. but as it was, i managed to get things sorted away. tanner came in later that night so i could quiz him for his history exam. later, zack stopped by so we could watch the prince of egypt, which is an awesome movie. after that, i went to bed. i’d said goodbye to a few people the day before–eric, austin–but everyone else was leaving on friday with me.

woke up on friday (gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal) ready to finish packing, but the truth is i just procrastinated until i had an hour left. mom and dad arrived, and it was chaos. i had to be checked out at a certain time, but we had the futon to move out and the trailer to load and the room to clean. i ended up being about thirty minutes late, but matt and steph were great and didn’t act like it was a big deal, even though it was.

then we loaded becca up and left. it was a long trip, but it was full of conversation and laughs. we stopped at cracker barrel for dinner. i wrote a little on my story. we got home and i crashed on the couch in the living room (my bedroom is out of commission at this point because of some drywall work). we had to wake up really early to unload the u-haul because it turned out someone needed it today. it was frantic and rainy, but we managed.

now i’m sitting on my bed (the couch) and writing.

saying goodbye to people was the first thing that snapped me into the leaving mindset. God worked it out great so that I could basically say goodbye to everyone in a short amount of time. i hate long goodbyes. hate them. not because i don’t enjoy being with the person i’m saying goodbye to, but because it just lengthens the amount of time you have to be around the person while knowing that you won’t be around them for a long time. i don’t like it. but i said goodbye to tanner, zack, jessica, matt, steph, and nathan all within ten minutes of each other, and it felt right. zack came with me to help load becca up, and he was the last person i said goodbye to. it was sort of sad, but it felt appropriate that i said goodbye to him last. he’s my best friend at bsu. the good thing is, i’ll be seeing him and tanner this summer.

i have three weeks before i leave for camp. i am so, so excited. i feel like i already know a ton of people who are working with me, especially alfredo, who i’ve skyped with haf a dozen times already. he’s a great guy, and i hope we get the chance to hang out over the summer. and while i’m super excited for camp and everything, it’s sort of a catch-22. being at camp means that i won’t be able to hang out with anyone from bsu or anyone from home. i feel like i might miss chances to reconnect with people. maybe that’s melodramatic or something, but it’s definitely something i’ve been thinking about.

so, i want to make the most of these three weeks. i want to hang out with people, talk about stuff, catch up, spend time with my family. mom and i will be going on a date, and dad and i are taking a weekend. dylan, christian, matt and i are taking a weekend too (i’m stoked for that!), and i’m going to go to campaigners and leadership and stuff like that. i’m doing the best i can.

what i really don’t want is for these three weeks to be super stressful because i’m trying to cram too much into too little time.

right now, i’m just going to relax. i’ll try to keep this as updated as possible, leading up to camp. i really started this blog so i’d have something to update over the summer for those who wanted to know. we shall see how it goes.

now, i’m going to eat breakfast.

on a separate note, i believe this is the earliest i have ever posted an entry. hmm.

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