tired.

i feel like i should come up with a funny story or something for every entry i post. to make it worth reading.

unfortunately, nothing extremely funny happened today. it wasn’t a bad day or anything, it just… wasn’t hilarious. i went to campaigners, which was great. got to see brady, blake, josh, and michael. they’re all doing a great job of keeping everything together. the guys really respect them and i can tell they’re really enjoying themselves, which is really great. it was weird though, because i only knew two or three of the guys there. the rest either weren’t coming or had graduated last year. at the same time, it was really cool to see faces i didn’t recognize, because it meant that new guys were actively coming to wyldlife stuff. in that regard, it was great.

tonight i started to feel the stress of going back. time is slowly sneaking away, it seems, and i’m having trouble scheduling short visits with everyone i want to. tomorrow i’m hanging out with christian, but i still haven’t been able to chill with markus or jake. sad day. plus i still have homework that needs to be done, and i need to organize a ride, and i have to communicate with my two groups i’m doing projects with. since i dealt with a bunch of summer stuff this week, i’m having trouble being motivated to go back. i just want summer to be here.

what i really want is to just be two people at once. that way i could make money working at camp, but i’d also be able to stay in newburgh and be invested in wyldlife. i think it was good for me to see the new faces, though. it makes me feel like i’m not missing as much. or maybe that’s a bad way of putting it. you know what i mean though, right? it’s like… since i don’t know as many of the guys, i’m not as invested, so it’s easier to consider other options. geez, that sounds kind of bad. i am invested in wyldlife and the guys that come. i’m just not an official part of it anymore.

when you leave a group, does that mean the responsibilities you specifically had in that group are no longer yours to bear? and if that is the case, and you bear some of the responsibility anyway, is that wrong? in some cases, the answer is really obvious. if you’re in the senate, and then leave, you are no longer responsible for the obligations that you had to bear in office. done. easy. for something like this, in which case i’m no longer a wyldlife leader, is it wring for me to try to take up some of the responsibility when i visit? i don’t want to be just a spectator, but i also don’t want to go past my boundaries or make it seem like i’m trying to assert myself.

gaaaahhhhh. i don’t know. is it really that big of a deal? i don’t know.

i’m going to bed.

also i’m annoyed that i’m running out of good colors for the text. that is all.

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